


Alright! Which of You Is Singing Mariah Carey on Repeat?!?!?!

by stardust_studio



Category: Cartoon Therapy (Web Series), Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: College AU, Fluff, Lamp - Freeform, M/M, Mention of Remus, No Angst, Songs Soulmate sings get stuck in your head, Soulmate AU, Virgil’s a pagan bc i’m projecting, but not really important, deceit is nb bc that seems like the thing to do, exclusively Virgil’s pov bc i can’t write from roman’s patton’s or logan’s well, janus is my name for deceit, mention of deceit, overused last names for everyone, platonic demus, rating is T bc of swearing, ride or die bitch is a reference to another fanfic, some poly phobia but no homophobia, sort of a fic fic, sort of a song fic, sort of a texting fic, written solely in present tense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-04
Updated: 2019-12-04
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:54:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21667021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardust_studio/pseuds/stardust_studio
Summary: In a world where music is the language of soulmates, Virgil wishes his would just shut up for one night.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit Sanders, LAMP - Relationship, Logic | Logan/Anxiety | Virgil/Morality | Patton/Creativity | Roman
Comments: 28
Kudos: 218
Collections: Sanders Sides Secret Santa 2019





	Alright! Which of You Is Singing Mariah Carey on Repeat?!?!?!

**Author's Note:**

> the faim and stand atlantic, two bands mentioned in this fic, are australian bands who had cheap concerts in the USA in summer of 2019, and they are great! punk/pop punk genre
> 
> Thank you for the prompt and the chance to write this!

It is odd, really. Soulmates are found based solely on chance and the songs that they sing. You see, if and when your soulmate sings, no matter how small, it tends to get stuck in your head for hours on end, even after they stop singing, until they or you sing a different song. Thus, the cycle repeats, on and on, until you find them out of sheer annoyance. Once you find them, the singing fades to background noise, still present, but much quieter. You just have to find them once, exchange names, and the music fades. The music is also quieter if the soulmate is simply listening to music, but still present nonetheless. 

A lot of people thought and still think that soulmates had to be a romantic thing, and it was that way for centuries, true. But, many who found their soulmate stayed solely platonic, and still others never spoke to their soulmate again. Essentially, the universe gives people possibilities, in the most annoying way possible. 

Which is why Virgil is ready to murder his soulmate, possibly mates. There are 3 completely different songs playing in his head at the current moment, in a way that no one human could replicate, so he must have more than one. That isn’t rare, but it is horrendously annoying. Scratch that, it is cacophony, it is agony, it is 3 am, and, for once, Virgil is trying to sleep! He knows that they are still awake and singing right now because the clashing songs have changed a few times in the past hour. Currently, someone is humming along to some kind of classical music, clashing horribly with someone rapping to Hamilton, and the last is singing along to some kind of cartoon music, but Virgil can’t tell what cartoon because the others are too damn loud!

Fed up, Virgil begins singing the song from Vine, “Shut the fuck up and go to sleep!” That surprisingly earns him a moment of silence, before the one singing Hamilton, Showtunes, starts singing “fuck” repeatedly to himself, while Cartoons is singing “language” back. Thankfully, Classical stays silent. Virgil figured that, based on times and such, the others are in close to the same time zone as him, and close to the same age, as the memes are all understood if one of them references one. Classical seems a little behind, but also really smart, so he is probably a nerd who only knows about memes because his three soulmates are meme-loving fucks. 

Eventually, by 4 am, there is silence, and Virgil knows he could get 3 hours if he is willing to rush in the morning, which he isn’t, since it is winter break, and there isn’t school tomorrow, why did he forget that? It’s been a long week, finals and all. He does have a flight home in two days, so he will need to pack, but that’s a problem for afternoon Virgil. 

Packing in the morning is punctuated with his own music, a mixture of punk, rock, and emo genres. Unfortunately, Virgil is a broke college student who can’t afford tickets to the MCR reunion concert, but he did get a chance to see The Faim and Stand Atlantic in concert this year, which was great! That night was awesome, as his soulmates hadn’t interrupted the concert at all. Currently, however, everyone’s got some music going, at a low level, to keep clashes to a minimum. 

Suddenly, he hears Cartoons’ music shut off, and then, from his side, he hears, “I’m Patton, what’s your name?” sung, of course, to ensure that everyone hears it. 

Showtunes’ music also shuts off, and he sings, “I’m the fabulous Roman. Nice to meet you Patton!” 

Classical shuts off his music, too, and sings, a bit rusty, “I’m Logan. Pleasure to meet you two.”

Gathering his small amount of courage, Virgil shuts his music off too, and sings quietly, not wanting his roommate, Janus, to hear, “I’m Virgil, nice to have names for songs.” 

This type of communication is difficult, because you have to keep singing everything you say, like life is a goddamn musical, anything spoken normally won’t get through until after you met your soulmate, and then only if they are deliberately sending it to you. Most people don’t even try this song-talk, because you might drop the singing halfway through a sentence, and miscommunication happens, way too often for Virgil to feel comfortable initiating it. It did surprise him, though, that none of the others had yet tried it before today. 

Slowly, from each of them, he hears that all of them were going to the same place for Christmas. Apparently, Roman’s family had moved there to be closer to Roman’s college, Patton is visiting grandparents for the holidays, and Logan is also going to a local college, and staying there for the holidays. Virgil is going home to his moms and siblings, and their family has lived there for a few generations, always coming back when the wanderlust had settled down, singing as much to his soulmates. They also exchange phone numbers, Roman singing his to Love is an Open Door and Logan singing his to the ASAP Science’s 100 Digits of Pi, while Patton simply sings his like a kid’s show teaching numbers. Virgil will forever deny that he sang his to The Black Parade when questioned about the story later, but Roman also recognizes the song, and insists that’s what happened years later. When asked how Roman knew the song, he dodges the question somewhat impressively, but rather obviously to anyone who knows him well. 

**Virgil:** thank loki we dont have to sing anymore

 **Roman:** do you not like to sing, virge?

 **Roman:** also, “thank loki”?

 **Virgil:** im pagan, claimed by loki

 **Virgil:** also, i celebrate yule, not christmas, on the 21st, not the 25th

 **Patton:** That’s cool! Guess we have to send your presents a few days early, eh?

 **Virgil:** you dont have to get me anything, we dont know each other

 **Logan:** Nonsense, you are our soulmate, Virgil. Of course we will get you presents, as I am sure we will all get gifts for each other, even if we don’t know each other and each other’s interests well yet. 

**Roman:** what he said! I love theatre, disney, costumes, cosplay, and makeup! 

**Patton:** I love puppies, kittens, people, and fun clothes! The weirder the better! I’m allergic to cats, tho :( so I can’t have a real cat. 

**Logan:** I enjoy science of any kind, specifically astronomy and chemistry, puzzles, mystery novels, and coloring pages. I cannot draw myself, but I find coloring to be soothing occasionally. 

**Virgil:** oh, well, i crochet, so yarn is always good, my favorite color is purple, i dye my hair purple, i like disney too, band tees are always a good bet with me, i suppose

 **Roman:** Oh, my favorite color is red! And I also dye my hair Red!

 **Patton:** My fav color is pastel blue, but any pastel colors are cool! My hair is pastel blue!

 **Logan:** I do not dye my hair, but my favorite color is dark blue or indigo, and I have been considering dying my hair sometime. 

**Virgil:** well, mine’s almost faded, so i could do mine and yours? if you want? to see how it’s done

 **Roman:** we can make a day of it! mine’s almost faded out, too!

 **Patton:** Mine, too! We can meet somewhere on the 21st and celebrate Yule with Virgil, then celebrate Christmas with our own families, maybe all together with families so everyone can meet!

Virgil isn’t sure that would be a good idea, but the others seemed into it, so he doesn’t object. 

**Virgil:** alright, i’ll ask my moms. fair warning, though, my siblings can be annoying. 

**Roman:** i know, right? how many do you have? i have 3, talyn, joan, and corbin. talyn and joan are both nonbinary, so they/them pronouns when you meet them

 **Roman:** i also have a twin, but, fair warning, he has no filter, and some of the things he says can be a bit disturbing 

**Virgil:** my moms are pretty chill about everything, but i have a sister, valerie, i think roman and her will get along fantastically, and a brother, thomas, also into theatre. thomas also like chemistry, so he and lo might get along

 **Logan:** Am I to assume that “Lo” refers to me?

 **Virgil:** oh, yeah, i give everyone nicknames, you can tell me to stop if you dont like it

 **Logan:** It’s fine, I had not been expecting it is all. 

**Logan:** I am an only child, and estranged from my parents, on a full ride scholarship, so I feel no need to go home. My parents disliked the fact that I had more than 1 soulmate, despite the fact that about half of the population of the United States has more than 1 soulmate. 

**Patton:** Oh, I’m sorry, Lo! You can come over to mine for the holidays if you want! My dads would love to meet you, all of you! I have twin brothers, younger than me, Emile and Remy!

 **Virgil:** oh, wait, my roommate is coming over for the holidays, too. their name is janus and they have vitiligo, fair warning. they have nowhere to go, so Mom said they could join us. they’re pretty chill, but very sarcastic, so most of what they say should be taken with a grain of salt. 

**Virgil:** also, gtg, they’re calling my flight home now, see you guys soon

 **Logan:** Goodbye for now, Virgil. 

**Patton:** Bye! Have a safe flight!

 **Roman:** goodbye~

Shutting his phone off for now, knowing full well he’ll turn it back on as soon as he gets on the plane, Virgil stands, grabs his bags, and heads home with Janus. 

Once landing, Virgil made sure to get out of the airport and into his Mom’s car before checking his phone again. 

“Who’s that, sweetie?” Mom asks, catching a glimpse of an unfamiliar name on the screen. 

“My soulmates,” Virgil says, “We finally exchanged numbers via song, and, apparently, we’re all gonna be in town for the holidays.”

“What a coincidence!” Mom gasps, “You won’t have to wander very far, will you?” Ah, yes, his family’s wanderlust, always caused by the search for their soulmates. It causes their family to spread far and wide, yet Mom’s branch had always returned to their roots. 

Virgil shrugs, “I guess not.”

“Oh, sorry, dear, I’m Virgil’s Mom, but you can call me Laura,” Mom turns around to Janus in the back. 

“Pleasure to meet you, Laura, and thank you for having me over,” Janus replies. 

“Nonsense, we’ve been having orphan Thanksgivings and Christmases for a long time, it’ll be no trouble having you over,” Mom says, correctly guessing what’s going through Janus’ mind. 

“Orphan holidays?” Janus turns to Virgil in askance. 

“It means that we invite people who have nowhere else to go over for the holidays. We’ve had many a work or school friend over for the holidays because they have nowhere else to go, or they do have somewhere to go, but that option is particularly unpleasant,” Virgil explains, before turning to his Mom, “Oh, one of my soulmates, Logan, might also be coming over for a bit. He’s going to a local college, and didn’t want to go home, I didn’t ask. Patton’s offered to take him in, too, so he might go there instead, I don’t know yet.”

Mom hums, excited to meet Virgil’s soulmates but mostly focused on getting through airport traffic in one piece. 

“So, who are these soulmates of yours, roomie?” Janus asks, curious despite themself. 

“Well, I have three, apparently. There’s Roman, studying theatre, and his family moved to town to be closer to his college, which I think might be the same one that Logan goes to, now that I think about it. Logan loves science, and didn’t say what exactly he is studying, but I think it’s either astronomy or chemistry. Patton seems like an absolute goofball, and he’s in town visiting grandparents, who are our neighbors, Ms. Linda and Mr. Mike. They’re really nice, always gave out popsicles on hot days,” Virgil says, “Do you have a soulmate, J?”

“I do, we’ve met already, and decided we’re better off as friends. He moved recently, though, and didn’t give me his new address, so all I can do is text him for now,” Janus replies, seeming a bit sad. 

“What’s he like?” Virgil asks, curious, but also trying to make conversation. 

“His name is Remus, and he’s wild, absolutely chaotic. He has no filter between his brain and his mouth, or his brain and his texts, so I am frequently woken up at 3am with questions such as ‘Have you ever imagined killing your brother?’ or ‘Do you think pigeons have feelings?’ However, he is the kind of ride or die bitch you want on your side, not against you,” Janus says, sounding fond despite his exasperation. 

“Sounds like an interesting person. I would love to meet him,” Virgil replies. 

Contented silence envelops the car as they approach Virgil’s house. Pulling up, Virgil sees a boy standing in his neighbor’s driveway, waving excitedly. It takes him a solid thirty seconds of confusion before he remembers that Patton’s grandparents are his neighbors. Ergo, this must be Patton. 

“Hi! Are you Virgil?” probably Patton bounces over, unfortunately to Janus’ side of the car. Wordlessly, Janus points at Virgil. Maybe Patton looks confused for a second before realizing. 

“Oh, sorry! I’m Patton,” Patton confirms Virgil’s thoughts, holding out a hand to Janus, “What’s your name?”

“I’m Janus, Virgil’s roommate,” Janus replies, taking Patton’s hand and looking confused about how such a ray of sunshine could exist as a person. 

“So, you must be Virgil!” Patton says, bouncing over to Virgil and taking his hand. 

“That’s me,” Virgil replies, trading confused looks with Janus, “and this is my mom.” Virgil waves his hand in his mom’s direction. Patton bounces over and shakes her hand as well. 

“You must be one of the soulmates my son was just telling me about,” Mom says, looking Patton up and down. 

“Yep! Oh, and Logan’s inside!” Patton replies. 

“Really? That was fast,” Virgil remarks. 

“Yeah, he texted me separately to ask if he could stay over for the break since the college kicks the students out of the dorms during breaks,” Patton pouts slightly, upset at the college for being so mean. 

“Our’s does too, that’s why I’m here. I think it’s to clean or something,” Janus says, pulling suitcases out of the back of the car. Virgil goes over to help them, and between the two of them, they get all the bags out quickly. Patton even came over and helped them get the bags into the house. 

“So, found Roman yet?” Virgil asks, knowing that Roman is the only one missing at this point. 

“Nope, but Logan might have. Logan’s studying science, right? Not big in the drama department. But, he thinks he remembers that Roman Prince was the lead for the winter play just before break,” Patton explains excitedly. 

“Prince?” Janus interjects. 

“Yeah, Roman Prince. Why?” Patton looks confused. 

“My soulmate is named Remus Prince. We met a few times, decided to stay platonic, but he moved, and keeps forgetting to tell me where he moved to,” Janus explains, looking exasperated. 

“Lemme text Roman,” Virgil pulls out his phone quickly. 

**Virgil:** hey, ro, is your twin named remus?

 **Roman:** yeah, how’d you know?

 **Virgil:** my roommate’s name is Janus, says their soulmate’s name is Remus Prince, that they met a few times but he moved and now J doesn’t know where he is

 **Roman:** lemme ask trashman

 **Virgil:** trashman?

“Well, Ro said his twin is named Remus, and that he was going to ask trashman?” Virgil puts his phone down to look at Janus. 

“Trashman is Remus’ screenname on any and all social media, so it’s probably him,” Janus replies, waving a hand. Virgil looks down as his phone buzzes. 

**Roman:** ok, remus said his soulmate is named janus, and is now on his way to your house

 **Virgil:** how does he know my address?

 **Roman:** i don’t know, i didn’t tell him!

“Well, apparently your Trashman is on his way. I don’t know how he knows where I live, or even if he does, so keep an eye out,” Virgil says, showing his phone to Patton and Janus. 

“Trust me, you’ll hear him before you see him,” Janus snorts. 

In the back of his head, Virgil could hear Roman singing, “oh fuck oh shit” on repeat, fading in and out as if he’s out of breath. From the frown on Patton’s face, he could hear it, too. 

“Oh, I just remembered! My grandparents want to have everyone over for dinner tonight so we can meet and so can our families! They said that friends are invited, too, so you can come, Janus. Remus might be there,” Patton says. Virgil looks at Mom and Mama, who had come out to see what was taking them so long. 

Mama shrugs, “Sure, free food, why not?”

Later that night, everyone ends up at Patton’s house. Roman brings his family, even dragging Remus in by the ear, not that he had to drag much after Remus saw Janus. 

“Snakey!” Remus shouts, jumping out of Roman’s hold to hug Janus. Janus catches him, and they go off into a corner to talk while the new soulmates get to know each other. 

“Hello! I am Roman Prince, studying theatre, my favorite color is red, and I can wield a katana with ease,” Roman says, setting the pattern for the introductions. 

“Salutations, I am Logan Crofter, double majoring in chemistry and biology, my favorite color is dark blue, and I dislike singing despite the soulmate culture,” Logan steps forward, making Patton squee at how smart their soulmate is. 

“I’m Patton Hart! I’m studying animal nursing, my favorite color is pastel blue, and I love cats even though I’m allergic,” Patton says, and Virgil makes a mental note to keep Patton away from Dumbass, his cat. 

“I’m Virgil Storm, studying engineering, my favorite color is purple, and I always have a weapon on me because I have anxiety,” Virgil says, pulling out his favorite rainbow knife. 

“Oh my, that’s so cool!” Roman and Patton both say at the same time. 

As the holiday season continues, all four of them get to know each other. Logan is immediately adopted by the families of his soulmates, all of them. The four don’t start with a romantic relationship, but keep open to the possibility of a romantic relationship. It helps keep the pining to a minimum. 

They share a kiss on New Years’ Eve, at midnight, as it becomes New Years’ day. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Happy holidays!


End file.
